Tuesday, March 8, 2005

received in e-mail

The Birth Order of Children
 

Your Clothes:

 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as yourOB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
 3rd baby Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

 Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,color-coordinate them,and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:

 1st baby:At the first sign of distress--a whimper,a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your  firstborn.
3rd baby:You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor,you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change his diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change his diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to his knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,you call home five times.
2nd baby:Just before you walk out the door,you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing,poking,or hitting the baby

3rd baby:You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin,you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child:When second child swallows a coin,you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!
   

 (The older the mother,the funnierthis is!)

8 comments:

csandhollow said...

This had me rolling on floor!!!

barbpinion said...

This really made my day. I know lots of people who could use a smile. I'll be forwarding it soon. Thanks and hope your day is as good as mine has been.
*Barb* http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

sanforized6 said...

Cute, very cute!! rich

gypsytrader49 said...

This very funny. Made me laugh out loud and boy did I need that today. Thanks.
Kathy

astaryth said...

ROFL!!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

tendernoggle said...

This is sooooo cute! I loved it and most of it is so true! hehehe!
Carlene

fasttrack58 said...

Hilarious!!! I'm still laughing... Linda

toonguykc said...

Try being the third child after a span of twelve years!  The only thing in MY baby book was a tuft of hair from my first haircut.  Parents get very tired after the 16th year of welcoming kids.