The Birth Order of Children
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as yourOB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,color-coordinate them,and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby:At the first sign of distress--a whimper,a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor,you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change his diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change his diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to his knees.
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,you call home five times.
2nd baby:Just before you walk out the door,you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing,poking,or hitting the baby
3rd baby:You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin,you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child:When second child swallows a coin,you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!
(The older the mother,the funnierthis is!)