Monday, March 7, 2005

My disappearing friend

I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the friends I've made on the Internet.  I've met many of them face to face, had some of them in my home, and been a guest in some of their homes.

People who know my Internet habits understand that I don't care for instant messages, unless there's a specific purpose.  So, they don't bother me with IMs unless they have something to say.  There is one person, though, with whom I've spent hours in IM... my friend Sue.  For some reason, I've never minded chatting in instant message with her. 

Sue has a strange habit.  If she gets angry, or hurt, she dumps (deletes) whatever screen name she is using so you can't contact her.  Then perhaps weeks, or even months, later, I'll get an IM from some name I've never heard of, and guess who it is!

She's gone again on one of her "leaves of absence".  She and I are neither one spring chickens, and one day I know she won't show up any more... or maybe I won't be here when she returns.  I accept this.  We must all do what we can to survive, to smooth out the bumps in lifes road. 

I composed this simple poem today.  Sue, if you're reading this entry, I hope you know you will always be my friend.

I have a disappearing friend;
She'll go away, return again,
Pick up right where we chatted last...
And I'll think all the trouble's past.

I do not mind; it's just her way:
Get hurt; retreat; come back one day.
I always pray she shows again,
For when she's gone, I miss my friend.

You know, each time she disappears,
I cannot help but have some fears:
Will she return, as in the past?
Or will this exit be her last?

Perhaps this time she's gone for good. 
I wouldn't change her if I could.
My friend must to herself be true. 
She knows what's best for her to do.

But if perhaps she's reading this,
At least she'll know that she is missed.
Life does go on; I'm doing fine.
I simply miss one friend of mine.

12 comments:

gypsytrader49 said...

I don't like IMing either.Sue must be very sensitive.She will surely be touched. Hope it all works out.
Kathy

somenuttychic said...

Awwwww!

Message to Sue: STOP RUNNING AWAY! Deleting your ID and then coming back under a new one will never help you to solve your problems. All you're doing is prolonging them and potentially making things worse. Pick an ID and stay a while. Even if life stinks. Eventually, the pendulum will swing back the other way again. It always does. You've got a good friend in Mosie. Don't blow it.

bookncoffee said...

On a similar note, I was thinking how sad it will be when something happens to one of us and that person is not there anymore and if no one knows the screen name to go in and report what has happened, then we would just never know what happened to the person.  I need to tell Hubby to go in and leave an entry if something happens.  And make sure he knows my password.  Hope all the other journalers will have a back up plan too.  
Sonya

firestormkids04 said...

So happy that you are the constant in all of this for your friend - you haven't changed your screen name and she knows you will be there when she's able to return.  Blessings, Penny

csandhollow said...

I do not mind getting IM's. I do not start them often though. I do hope Sue is okay.

plieck30 said...

I have a friend who is kind of like that. Sometime I think she is gone for good and when I least expect it I will hear from her. Nice poem for your friend. Paula

toonguykc said...

I have a friend that drops in and out of my life too.  It's like the tv reception goes out on her channel for a few years and then suddenly comes in clear.  Your poem hit a deep chord within me and for that I thank you.


Russ

ryanagi said...

I have a friend like this too. Once we lost touch for 3 years. She always comes back too. Hopefully you'll hear from Sue soon. I wonder if your Sue is bipolar like my friend is.

bnanajm said...

: o X

Bnana

heyuno said...

Maybe your poem will let Sue know how much you care.  Heck I wanna know if she shows up again, and she not my friend.  Maybe you will hear from her soon.

segerfan4 said...

wow! I have an online friend whom I've chatted with about 4 years and they recently began doing this - disappearing for months on end - at first - I was worried - but now I've grown to accept and realize - our infrequent chats are now more meaningful....sometimes we dont know what we have - till its gone...

sam7md2 said...

I know the feeling, Mosie.  Sue has done the same thing to me.  I never know her screen name anymore.  I used to hear from her too, but never hear anything from her anymore.  I miss her too! Sam7