Thursday, January 20, 2005

How to handle hormonal women


The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man  has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!   This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!


  DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

  SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

  SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


  DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

  SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.

  SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


  DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

  SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

  SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.

  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


  DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

  SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

  SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate


  DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

  SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.

  SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

  ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.


  13 Things PMS Stands For


  1. Pass My Shotgun

  2. Psychotic Mood Shift

  3. Perpetual Munching Spree

  4. Puffy Mid-Section

  5. People Make me Sick

  6. Provide Me with Sweets

  7. Pardon My Sobbing

  8. Pimples May Surface

  9. Pass My Sweatpants

  10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

  11. Plainly; Men Suck

  12. Pack My Stuff


  And my favorite one...

  13. Potential Murder Suspect




sanforized6 said...

As a man, I can really, really, go along with this. Very funny, but oh so true! rich

amy122389 said...

"I've always loved you in that robe." is my personal favorite...LOL

csandhollow said...

After all this time Pat STILL does not know how to handle my PMS!!

firestormkids04 said...

Hank's gonna love this - his sweetie REALLY suffers - Penny

ksquester said...

HOW true and very funny....Anne

astaryth said...

#13 Potential Murder Suspect ....ROFL... Goes along nicely with my favorite T-shirt 'Don't Piss me off .... I'm running out of places to hide th bodies' <eg>

ryanagi said...

That was funny! I just read it out loud to my husband...he agrees and sticks with "safest" and "ultra safe" statements, most of the time. LOL!

bnanajm said...

LOL - my friend Steve once gave me a tee shirt he had made for me.  It said "I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun".......I still wear it sometimes.

plieck30 said...

I like the part about chocolate. Paula

lowis6535 said...

   Thank heavens for PMS ... or, at least its diagnosis.  I was so relieved to find out that my disposition was okay ... I would not ALWAYS feel so murderous!  Here, we had all these conditions ... just didn't know it....