Saturday, January 8, 2005

something received in e-mail

         

                My sister, my mom and me, Mother's Day, 2002

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2.
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.
My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5.
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6.
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7.
My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8.
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9.
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.
My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all those peas are gone."

11.
My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12.
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13.
My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14.
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15.
My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16.
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17..
My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19.
My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20.
My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.
My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23.
My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.
My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand"

25. And my favorite: -
My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

9 comments:

fierrorachel said...

Sorry Mom, I AM turning out just like you!  (and it ain't so bad!)

bnanajm said...

Hmmmm.....looks like somebody else had my Mom for a mother.  No wonder I turned out so wierd.

LOL

astaryth said...

<ROFL> I love these... And I think I heard most of them growing up too!!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

barbpinion said...

Heard most of these growing up to. Mom's are pretty special, aren't they? Love the photo. It's precious. Hugs. *Barb*
http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

lacaza3 said...

funny and so true my mom said these things to they must of had some school on mothering back in the day
Donna In TEXAS

ksquester said...

HELLO SISTER, It seems as though we had the same Mother! lol  Anne p.s. You still have ME wanting waffles.

mandmblues43 said...

hey girlfriend  yes i have heard many of these comments too one is a favorite
I give you an inch you take a mile.  I sure do miss my mom, and i did take the mile.

toonguykc said...

Very funny writing!!  Mind if I "consult" this entry when I need some inspiration to write Mother's Day cards?  That's a very happy picture, by the way!

ryanagi said...

I've always liked that one. That is my mom too. LOL