John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment

Weekend Assignment #42: Share your favorite story of Winter cold -- preferably (but not necessarily) involving something freezing inconveniently and humorously.

Cliff and I have always lived in old houses... which means cold and drafty, in the wintertime.  I could tell dozens of stories about things freezing in the house and on the farm, but I'll stick with a short, simple one.  We've lived in our present house since 1975.  The upstairs isn't heated, except for grates you can open in two of the rooms... one room, now, because when we put lowered ceilings in the kitchen, that did away with one.  Of course, we can leave the stairway door open to let heat up there.  Still, it's a cold place to sleep.

Our two kids slept upstairs, all their growing-up years.  I told them how tough they were, and that it was good for them to sleep in cold rooms:  "You're probably sick less than any kids in the school, blah blah blah...". 

We finally took pity on them and bought them electric blankets... AFTER my daughter took a glass of water upstairs to sip on, and brought it down the next morning, frozen!      

Extra credit: Name a song that reminds you of winter that's not Christmas-themed.

I hadn't thought of this old country classic in ages; I'm glad John jogged my memory.  It's entitled "The Blizzard"; it's written by the most prolific country music songwriter ever, Harlan Howard.  His description of country music was "three chords and the truth".

There's a blizzard comin' on and I'm wishin' I was home
For my pony's lame and he can't hardly stand
Lord my hands feel like they're froze and there's a numbness in my toes
But it's only seven miles to Mary Anne it's only seven miles to Mary Anne

You can bet we're on her mind for it's nearly suppertime
And I bet there's hot biscuits in the pan
Listen to that northern sigh if we don't get home we'll die
But it's only five more miles to Mary Anne it's only five more miles to Mary Anne

That wind's howlin' and it seems mighty like a woman's screams
And we'd best be movin' faster if we can
Dan just think about that barn with that hay so soft and warm
It's only three more miles to Mary Anne it's only three more miles to Mary Anne

Dan get up your ornery cuss or you'll be the death of us
I'm so weary but I'll help you if I can
All right Dan perhaps it's best we'll just stop awhile and rest
It's still another mile to Mary Anne it's still another mile to Mary Anne

Late that night the storm was gone and they found him there at dawn
He'd've made it but he just couldn't leave ol' Dan
Yes they found him out there on the plains his hands froze to the reins
He was just a hundred yards from Mary Anne
He was just a hundred yards from Mary Anne