Thursday, August 16, 2007

Why??

I received this in email from Cliff's cousin, Edna.  I've probably seen it or heard variations of it before (sounds like George Carlin a little, doesn't it?) but it made me smile this morning.



 Why, Why, Why...

 do we press harder on a remote control when we know
 the batteries are getting dead?

 Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when
 they know there is not enough money?

 Why does someone believe you when you say there are
 four billion stars, but will check when you say the paint
 is wet?

 Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

 Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
 injection?

 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

 Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
 ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

 Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you
 use the bubbles are always white?

 Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

 Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
 with hopes that something new to eat will have
 materialized?

 Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times
 with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it
 up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
 one more chance?

 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end
 on your first try?

 How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
 fixtures?

 When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our
 ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing
 so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't
 all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid
 idiot?"

 Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
 that's falling off the table you always manage to
 knock something else over?

 In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as
 it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

 How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?


Tags: , ,

8 comments:

dbaumgartner said...

This is just great! I love it.

Thanks for sharing.

Deb

magran42 said...

I needed those smiles this morning.  Thanks

nanlynska said...

And why do 7-11 stores have locks on their doors, when they are open 24 hours a day?  

Why is a light switch printed with 'On' & 'Off'......when the light is on, you can SEE that it's on.....when it's off, it's too dark to read the switch !

fowfies said...

All very good questions...and a good laugh at something so true!

cgtperkins said...

I have never seen that one....I like it. It raises some very good questions!!!
Hugs
Carrie

randlprysock said...

Wow this is a good one!!  Especially the one about the banks and the kamikazi's.... LOL.  Still doing videos over here and loving every minute of it!! Hugs,
Lisa

randlprysock said...

I hope you don't mind me bragging on your poetry book!!  Check it out:

luvmort said...

There are actual answers to a lot of these.