I've been more neglectful than usual of my household duties this summer. I don't have the energy I once did, and when I start the day with a two-hour horseback ride followed by a walk with my husband and dog, I'm tired. Then there's all the time I've been spending at the cabin. Playing has taken precedence over work... more so than usual. Factor in a large portion of pure laziness and you get the idea.
So this morning I decided to mop the kitchen, hallway and bathroom for the first time in... oh, I don't know... a month?
Sounds simple, doesn't it? And it would be, except for the hair-sheddingest short-haired dog you'll ever meet. And most of what she sheds, I've learned, is undercoat, which is as fine as cat-hair. Here's how it goes when I'm ready to mop:
1. Pick up all throw rugs, take them out and shake them, and get them into the Kenmore for a wash job.
2. Start sweeping all the areas you intend to mop. Notice the little piles of hair you are accumulating, congratulate self.
3. Go chasing after hairballs when a slight breeze blows them out of your swept-up pile and all around the room.
4. Realize that the source of the whole hair situation is the dog; perhaps it would be wise to start with her.
5. Take dog outside and brush her awhile; congratulate self on how much hair the brush is removing, and bring her back inside.
6. Start bathwater running for dog.
6. Drag dog from behind the bed where she's hiding because she heard the bathtub being filled.
7. Spend ten minutes bathing the dog, then put her on her tie-out to dry. Notice the many clumps of wet dog hair going down the drain and congratulate self.
8. Spend five minutes trying to rinse all the stray dog hairs that are stuck to the edges and sides of the tub down the drain.
9. Start vacuuming again; run wand around the edge of the rooms and under computer desk, and use it to pick up stray hair-piles seen blowing around, because any hair left when the floor is mopped simply sticks to the mop and relocates elsewhere.
10. Mentally curse the &%@#& vacuum, which never was worth a hoot, and stinks when it's running because, years ago, itwas used to pick up a bunch of Asian Lady beetles that had invaded the upstairs and they left a permanent foul odor in the sweeper that gets worse over time.
11. Go to computer and see if Kohls has any Dyson vacuums on sale. Nope.
12. Lay kitchen chairs down in order to get any embedded hair off their feet; otherwise, when they are brought back into the kitchen and placed on a damp floor, the hair that's stuck on them will soak off and deposit itself on the clean floor. Begin to carry chairs to the living room, out of the way.
13. Realize there's probably plenty of hair on the carpet that will be tracked back in the kitchen; run the &%@#& stinking vacuum in the living room.
14. Prepare mop and water. Spend five minutes mopping. Finished.
15. Make mental note: next time a dog is adopted, make sure the parentage is known and get one that has no undercoat.
I think I know now why I procrastinate when it comes to this job.