Thursday, April 26, 2007

Cliff's cousin Edna got her e-mail working again!

Edna's email is working, and I'm laughing at this crazy thing she sent me:

Wisdom of Larry the Cable  Guy:

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other  hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are  made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad  name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6.  He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger  without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second  mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only  culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of  a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending  machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of  payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is  coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the  future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be  without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into  jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death,  twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21.  Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What  the
heck  happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all  fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some  people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

Now, I don't know if Larry the Cable Guy really said this stuff or not; sounds a lot like George Carlin, too.  But I got a smile out of them, no ma
tter who said it. 

Welcome back, Edna!


siennastarr said...

I got a smile out of those too!! lol


marainey1 said...

Thank you and Edna for the smiles this evening !  'On Ya' - ma

dbaumgartner said...

Love it!!!

Thanks for sharing.


mutualaide said...

I got a smile out of it too!

deshelestraci said...

Those are hilarious.

randlprysock said...

That Larry the Cable guy is a hoot!!  Yay me, I am in your journal!!  Thanks for sending the link as sometimes AOL doesn't send me the ones I am signed up for.  It comes and goes in spurts and I have never figured it out so I keep re-signing up for the same alerts when it happens.  But then sometimes I start getting two of everything. LOL.    Hugs,

hestiahomeschool said...

These were great!