I've always planned on outliving Cliff. Honest! But lately, my gut feeling tells me that I'll go first. This doesn't upset me, mind you. But the two of us talk about such things. It's a sign of old age, I guess.
So today, I mentioned to Cliff that I don't know how the 401K thing works. Do you collect it all at a certain age? Do you collect it even if you decide to go ahead and work for a few years? We don't have a clue.
Then we got into the Social Security issue. Cliff could sign up for his soon, since he'll be 62 in June. If he socked it all away in an IRA, would that be smarter than waiting until he's sixty-six? We don't have a clue.
Then I told him I intend to get most major debts paid off in the next three years. Because if I died today, he'd not have any idea as to how to pay the bills. So he'd better live at least another three years.
He said he'd probably just work overtime to pay stuff off (to keep from missing me, I think, but he didn't say that.)
Then we talked about if he died first.
"I'll have an auction as quickly as possibly," I told him.
"You'll have to have somebody help you get stuff lined up and ready," he says.
"Kevin (my son-in-law) will help," I said. "And your brother, Phil."
"With all that stuff, plus the house and grounds, you ought to be set up pretty good," Cliff answered.
"Yep, even the car will sell, since I don't drive."
Now to younger folks, this probably sounds morbid. But it's the strangest thing... Cliff and I have no trouble at all with such conversations.
And that's a good thing!
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14 comments:
I've always thought it's very important to talk about that sort of thing. Plus, you should write it down, because God Forbid it does happen you won't be thinking rationally and won't remember a lot. Just a suggestion.
Pam
Smart! All couples should have this talk! No matter what age.
Hugs, Sugar
Conversations like this are not in the least silly or strange....It is something more folks should do....specially when we get up in age etc...I have been talking with hubby about reworking our will...making funeral arrangements....no time like the present...and if he is the first to go....Lord only know what will happen....cause I will prolly be a basket case LOL...just good to have things in order....God Bless....hugs from KY....Ora
The more you have planned ahead the better. You are much more stable to do it ahead. We had our cemetary lots and funeral all paid off. All I had to do was to buy the monument and that didn't have to be done at once. Hope you both live many more years but glad you are thinking ahead. Its something we all face sooner or later. Paula
I can't EVER read this stuff again. Picture me, with ears covered, saying "NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH" Don't do this again without a warning email. I can't take it. I don't like to cry on a Friday night.
You need to talk to a finianical advisor about the 401
actually you can draw on it now.
You can wait until Cliff hits 62 then take just enough every month that you do not have to pay income taxed on it.. Pat and I figured that we can live his SS check if he retires at 62 except for medical expences. Things would be tight but doable.
HEY MOSIE,
I AM SITTING HERE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER...HANDS OVER MY EARS...GOING.......NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH.......:-)
LOVE YA,
CARLENE
Donna,
Mind you it wasn't me talking to my husband abt death, but it was I and my Mom. Daddy had passed over ten years ago. She told me exactly how she wanted things handled. I cried and didn't want to listen. She, ( Mamma) was really ok with the (talk;) I can't get over how matter a fact she was about her end time. True life goes on, but I will never stop thinking about Mamma and Daddy. I know she thought about him daily. I do too.
Gabrielle
I don't think its morbid, its mature and factual. Linda
My mother and father had conversations such as yours for years. I was the baby, and much younger ... in the early years of hearing them talk I would be horrified, but as I matured and listened to 'what happened' to other people and their plans to avoid difficulties I grew to appreciate knowing they had a plan. My dad died first and my mom followed their plan. And then she started talking to ME about 'when I go'. LOL ... these are very normal conversations.
It is a good thing. When my husband died I was at a complete loss, in every way, because we had never talked about it. I wanted him back for at least an hour so I could ask him questions. I wasn't sure about anything and only vaguely remembered he wanted to be buried in a National Cemetery. He was a retired military veteran. I had to learn how to cut the grass even!
The only odd thing I see about this conversation is that you don't drive! Everyone should plan ahead, even very young people. It's good to know what you want to do if the time comes unexpectedly. Somehow, it always seems unexpected, you know? I think the conversation shows how much you love each other.
xoxo
I read an entry similar to this....even refering to this in Celeste's journal first, and posted this same comment.
This is SOOOO important. I know this first hand. When Dad died in January, he was only 52. He did not have a will. My brother and sister fought me about so much that I finally just took a few small momentos filled with sentimental value, (A coffee thermos that had been my Dad's, and my grandfather's , one of my Dad's bibles, and a few small things I had bought for him as a child.) The car, Dad's half of the house,(mom and Dad divorced in November, and the house is supposed to go on the market in 2 years when my brother turns 18.) Dad's guns, and tools.......everything of any real financial value was left for my brother and sister to fight over. In the end I know that they will stick me with all of Dad's bills too, and that's fine, but it all could have been avoided if he'd just had a will. Think about your loved ones, and MAKE A WILL TODAY!
~Stephanie~
http://journals.aol.com/therealstephhull/home-in-the-heartland/
This is wonderful conversation. One tries to think of everything they can. I have told Doc that he wouldn't have to leave the house to find a date, because if you are a MAN, they (women) will come out of the woodwork to take care of your every need. (SIGH!!) It's a fact! Anne
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