Friday, December 29, 2006

My funeral

When I was younger, I hated funerals, and avoided them as much as possible.  Somewhere in my forties, I decided they weren't so bad.

Going to funerals was like a family reunion, really.  Everyone sharing memories of the dear departed.  It was sorta nice.

Sometime in my fifties, I started thinking about my own funeral.  Of course, it wouldn't really matter what happened to my corpse, because I intended to be in a better place.  But I like graveyards and tombstones, so I pictured myself having a simple funeral, a burial in my little town's cemetery, and a marker with my name on it.  Markers are important because they tell the world that, at one time, you existed.

Now that I'm in my sixties, though, it really doesn't matter.  I wouldn't mind knowing my ashes would be scattered back at the cabin, or down by the Missouri river at farmer Steve's place.  I rather like the idea, in fact.  I would still like a marker to tell the world I had been here, though.

But if that bothered my relatives, it's OK, whatever they do.  Anything that gives comfort to the living is fine with me.  The dead aren't bothered by silly details.

Cremation, with ashes left to be scattered, is much cheaper.  Just so you know.

My soul isn't going to care.


deshelestraci said...

I agree.  I used to be hung up on the fact that cemetaries take up so much room.  But my views have changed and I think it is important to have a marker for the living to come to.  Part of going to my grandparents house includes a trip to the Albaton, Iowa cemetary.  The town is gone but the cemetary remains.  
But being cremated isn't such a bad thing either.

siennastarr said...

I'm all about cremation too.  I used to think I wanted to be buried, but I don't need my body taking up unneccesary space in the ground.  Just incinerate my bod and send me on my way!  Blowin' in the wind, so to speak! lol  Matters not, as that's not where my soul is.  Hopefully it's dangling from a cloud somewhere far far away! :)


marainey1 said...

I told my children to have me cremated since it's so much cheaper...they didn't think much of the idea. We really won't have to worry about it though - I do have a spot already waiting next to my DDH so I guess ashes or what ever will be next to him.  The older we get it seems the more funerals we attend.  They let us say good bye and celebrate their life.  Memories are nice sometimes.  'On Ya' - ma

lanurseprn said...

We have family plots nearby should we need them.  I used to want to be cremated and scattered.  But, I do think the living need somewhere to go.  My son will need somewhere to go.  So, my son and brother  got instructions who to call should the need to arise.  It's up to them, really.

ksquester said...

Doc wants to be creamated, although he would prefer to wait until he dies. (sorry, that was uncalled for)  I like the thought of a closed casket funeral with burial in a mausoleum, eye level with a small vase for flowers.  Glad you figured yours out. What I found out was whoever is left behind will do what they want to do......hopefully they like you.   Anne

toonguykc said...

Something I haven't written about in my own blog (yet) was how very explicit the instructions were that my mom left for her funeral.  My sisters found her Bible highlighted with passages she wanted read.  And there notes about the hymns she liked best.  And she told EVERYBODY near her that she wanted a closed casket.  And she wanted to be buried wearing her KU Jayhawk Tee-shirt, KU sweats, KU slippers and have her favorite KU blanket covering her.  No compromises there!!  She loved college basketball.

I've been making notes and telling everybody that I want to be cremated and have no service of any kind.  They can put the ashes out with Friday's garbage for all I care.

Let your family know what you want.  They will get it perfect.  I know and love your daughter -- she'll make sure everything is just how you'd want it.  

I'm just saying.


lmitc89854 said...

I am just the opposite. I used to want to be cremated but now want to be buried where my husband is. Ft Leavenworth Nat'l Cemetery. They will let me be there with him.

magran42 said...

The burial, I'm not so picky about...but the funeral service I am planning parts of because it's the last time I'll be able to influence my family.  I've left instructions for the pastor (they change often)....You see, there are things I want my family to hear and this will be the only time they will all be together in one church, not to mention that I hope they will be sufficiently subdued enough to really listen.

firestormkids04 said...

Right about the ashes. My friend in Mexico held her memorial service before she died so she could see who would come.  It was a great party!   Thanks for jogging my memory.  Blessings, Penny

ryanagi said...

I'm getting caught up on your entries... I agree with your sixties self. Cremation is better for the environment too. I'm all for taking a short cut to the whole "ashes to ashes" thing. :-)  But I told my husband he needs to put up a nice memorial bench somewhere scenic where folks will sit, read my plaque, and wonder who I was while enjoying a nice view.