Wednesday, November 2, 2005

received in e-mail

Knowing how e-mail gets around, many of you have seen this, I'm sure; I believe I have.  But it gave me a morning smile.  Thanks to my buddy Bernie for sending it.

   Men Are Just Happier People

   Your last name stays put.
   The garage is all yours.
   Wedding plans take care of themselves.
   Chocolate is just another snack.
   You can be President.
   You can never be pregnant.
   You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
   You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
   Car mechanics tell you the truth.
   The world is your urinal.
   You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
   You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
   Same work, more pay.
   Wrinkles add character.
   Gray hair doesn't turn "blue".
   Wedding dress-$5000. Tux rental-$100.
   People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
   The occasional well-rendered belch or "aromatic flatus" is practically expected.
   New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
   One mood all the time -- grumpy.
   Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
   You know stuff about cars, tanks, etc.
   A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
   You can open all your own jars.
   You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
   If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
   Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
   Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
   You can become "Mr. Best-Dressed" by buying at COSTCO or Sam's Club.
   You almost never have strap problems in public.
   You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
   Everything on your face stays its original color.
   The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
   You only have to shave your face and neck.
   You can play with toys all your life.
   Your belly usually hides your big hips.
   One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
   You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
   You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
   You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
   You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

   Finally, it is just no wonder men are happier.
   But, then again what do you expect from such simple creatures?

   Sure, go ahead and send this to your women friends who
   can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it and agree with you.




grahamfarmga said...

This made me smile

csandhollow said...


fmgruber said...

I can say I live up to all that!

toonguykc said...

Thanks for giving me a smile too!


jspiker said...

Yea....I know <grin>