Tuesday, September 13, 2005

babies

I didn't know most of the people at Cliff's family gathering Saturday.  There were neighbors and cousins, and the children of cousins... I didn't even try to figure out who belonged to whom.  As I sat and listened to Cliff talking with his cousin Dale, a toddler began fussing behind me, wanting his very young mother to pick him up.  She was obviously frustrated with trying to appease him, and I offered to take him for awhile.  I was sitting in a metal lawn chair that rocked, so I began rocking him and singing all the songs I used to sing to my babies and grandbabies:  "I've Been Working On The Railroad", "Go Tell Aunt Rhody", and "All The Pretty Little Horses".  He immediately laid his head on my shoulder, pacifier firmly implanted in his mouth, and relaxed.  When I'd pause my singing, he'd grunt at me... his way of asking me to continue.

I hadn't realized, until then, how I miss having a baby around.  It came over me like a physical hunger, and I could have cried at how good it felt to have that baby laying peacefully on my shoulder.

At my previous church, I worked in the nusery with a friend of mine, during Sunday School, every Sunday for at least ten years.  I've had grandbabies off and on for nineteen years now, and even babysat a couple of infants when there were no grandchildren close by. 

Now, I have no babies in my life.  The thought of that makes me feel rather empty.  Something must be done!  If I were to take on an infant to babysit, it would drastically cut back on my horseback riding, and other leisure activities... so I will give it serious thought before I commit to anything.  If I could drive, I'd just go back to my old church (I'm still a member there anyhow) and get back to work in the nursery.

Or maybe this will pass.  We'll see.

11 comments:

fierrorachel said...

As the mother of a teen...I beg of you...DON'T WISH TOO HARD FOR A BABY TO BE AROUND!  Thank you.

mosie1944 said...

Ummm... daughter dear.... I did not specify wanting a great-grand-baby!

memes121 said...

I don't have children but love them. I used to be a nanny plus with my nephews. I love having a baby in my arms. They have a way of forcing us to see life in a different way. They force us to push through all the thorn covered bushes of the news to see that there is beauty and good in this world. I think they are God's gift to us. It is His way of showing us a tiny portion of Heaven.

robinngabster said...

Oh I love babies too....I think the nursery at church is a great place to get your baby fix if you can!  Some of us just never lose that Mommy in us and holding one zaps us right back!  :)

amy122389 said...

If it passes, let me know.  I've got the baby blues myself.  :)  
I seem to have gotten the reputation as the one who puts babies to sleep, too.  The Baby Whisperer?  hee hee hee....

~Amy

ksquester said...

Oh Mo...You don't let us see this side of you often and I applaud you for it. I am going to make my applecake on Thursday and can't wait!  Anne

siennastarr said...

Boy, can I relate to those feelings!  I want to be a grandma so bad my arms and heart ache all the time.  IT's worse than when I wanted to be pregnant and have babies of my own!  It's even sadder that I have a grandson that I never get to see, because his dad is a butthead.
At any rate, I can relate, Mosie.  Totally.

Jackie

tendernoggle said...

I mss babies too. We don't have any grandchildren, so I catch myself looking longingly at all the babies with their mommies in the stores! I miss so much being able to hold them and having them snuggle their little heads up to me.
love ya,
carlene

marainey1 said...

My youngest grand child will be 1 year old this weekend. I'm so thankful that I do get to hold them once in awhile.  We have that in born love of babies ! It never goes away !  'On Ya' - ma

boodotte said...

Boy, I can relate to the "baby-wants".  I'm in same boat as you with the wee ones being "not-so-wee" anymore.  We need a fresh crop!  Should I add to my potential church list "abundance of cheek pinchers in nursery"?  lol  

firestormkids04 said...

I don't want to be negative, but it will never pass completely.  I love the feel of a soft little hand, wiggly toes and the smell of a sweet forehead.  My lips can't resist their little cheeks.  We left Mexico a year ago and I have yearned every day for a baby.  I couldn't even care for one right now, but there is nothing more fulfilling than having a little one snuggle into you chest and fall asleep, trusting that you will never let them down.  Blessings, Penny