Friday, July 8, 2005

my son

I'm going to do a seperate entry on each of my children and grandchildren.  I'll start with my first-born, Jim.


That's Jimmy, aged nine months.  He was a colicky baby who puked and cried a lot.  Cliff and I, having both been spanked a lot as children, thought if we used physical punishment enough, our child would fall in line.  After all, we'd seen so many brats, and we didn't want to be embarrassed by a kid like that.  So we began spanking him around the time he was one year old.

We both realize now we were wrong.  Had I known how quickly babies grow to adults, I'd have cherished each time I had to rock him, or walk him or bounce him, to keep him from crying.

One thing I recall about my little boy is that he really didn't want anyone holding him except me and my mom, (and his dad, in a pinch) until he was past two years old.  We were the only ones who could pacify him during his fussy times.  One time when he got a little older and had an earache at my mom's, he cried for me until she had to bring him home. 

Jimmy didn't come with an instruction book, but bless his heart, he loved me in spite of all my mistakes.

He's approaching middle age now.  But I still see him as the baby who was unjustly spanked, but loved me anyway.  I know he isn't perfect.  But I will always be on his side in any altercation.  He's the one who taught me that even human infants can show unconditional love.

Stay tuned; my daughter will be my next family entry.


myheartsaysso2 said...

Awwwww what a nice and sweet entry.. I thought it was very heartfelt.. loved it! :) Melaney

tendernoggle said...

They say that "you learn on the first child"  and boy did I!
Beautiful little boy!

cyandfayedavis said...

Don't have regrets!  I know that's easy to say and hard to do.  When my children were little I thought if you kept them clean and well fed you had done all you needed to.  Needless to say I too wish I could do it over.  Children are small sponges and soak up everything around them.  You are a great person and did the best you could with what you knew.  Jim is the person he is because you were the person you were and GOD is in control of everything.

rb3987 said...

Jim sure looked like Cliff , even as a baby and still does.

sam7md2 said...

Mo, I know what you mean about the spankings.  We spanked our kids too everytime they breathed the wrong way.  Not because we were spanked like that, my parents spanked us very little, but my first husband as spanked a lot as a child and he did most of the spanking of our children.  I was a screamer, unfortunately, and have raise a whole house full of screamers.  "Too soon old and too late smart" goes with parenting as well as all the other life mistakes we make as young adults.  Jim does look so much like Cliff in this picture. If you're like me, Mo, you have a special relationship with all your children, but there's just something about mothers and their sons that's different.  I don't approve of my son's lifestyle at all, but I love him dearly and enjoy every minute with him I can.  

Can't wait to read what you say about your daughter.

Love, Sam

marainey1 said...

Just catching up on reading journals today !  I guess we did what we were taught - at least I did.  If they misbehaved they got spanked.  My own children don't spank their kids - maybe it's for the best???  It is a changing world and I for one think some changes are for the good !  ' On Ya' - ma