Thursday, July 22, 2004

seedling trees and dreams

All day at work I thought about those seedling pecan trees I wrote about this morning: what if we had assumed they were dead and mowed them?  We’d never have known the difference.  We’d never have realized we killed living trees.

So I got to wondering, Aren’t dreams a lot like that?  You nurture your hopes and dreams, praying they’ll come to fruition, and then so much time goes by, you give up on them.  You just know they’re dead, that there’s not a chance on earth that those dreams could come true.  And you bury them.

But what if they weren’t dead, only sleeping until the right time?  What if you murdered them because of your lack of patience?

Like most little girls, I used to beg for a pony.  I cried and I prayed; my parents pointed out that you can’t have a horse in town, but that made no sense to me... we had a huge yard!  I wrote to Santa, in hopes he’d see things my way.  Back then you could buy Shetland ponies from the Wards and Sears Catalogues, and I wore those pages out looking.  I grew, and we moved to Kansas City.  By that time I was old enough to realize my dream of a pony could not possibly come true.  And I forgot about it.

Fast-forward some twenty years.  My husband and I bought 20 acres in the country (another dream I had long ago squelched) and somebody knew somebody that had a horse for sale for $100.  That was Ginger, the first of many horses I’ve had along the way.  I’ve fully enjoyed every one in its own time and in its own way. 

The trouble is, when so much time passes between the planting of a dream and the day it finally blossoms into something real, you forget that it WAS a dream, if you’re not careful. 

So today, thanks to a couple of little seedling trees, I took count of all the dreams-come-true I’ve experienced and thanked a loving God, to Whom time is no barrier.

Please don’t give up on your dreams; there may still be life there!   

4 comments:

gatorspictures said...

you are so right...we should hold to our dreams---it is the same as nurturing our souls and happiness. thank you for visiting my journal and leaving the sweet comment...i will be sure to bookmark yours for future visits!! c

fierro6 said...

Dear Mom,

I know you.  I know your thoughts, I know your fears, I know your beliefs.  Today, reading your journal, I realized how much you know...how smart you are.  When I was a teenager, you were so backwoods, so stupid.  Then I got married, and you knew it was wrong, but supported me.  Then another BAD relationship, and you never turned your back.

I always dreamed I'd have the perfect family...like you gave to me and Jim.  "Perfect" has changed a lot over the years, but I have it now.  The dream could have been forgotten, and I could have rejected Kevin because of the way he looked, or his family stuff, or his past, or any one of many reasons.  Somehow, I held onto the dream.

My dream has come true, and all of those dreams that I've long since buried have come back tonight.  I read tonight's entry and I cried.  I mean, I cried HARD.  I WILL own land some day, I WILL have a horse.  I WILL watch all 3 of my kids graduate from college.  I WILL build enough savings to enable us to buy school clothes and Christmas gifts without putting off utility bills.  I'm NOT giving up.

You are the strongest woman I know, and you inspire me.  You're living the dream, Mom, you're living the dream.  I love you.

bnanajm said...

Dear Donna...

My dream is to have a family who loves me the way your daughter does.  WOW...you are a very, very lucky girl.

And I won't give up my dream.  It was YOU who encouraged me to book the cruise.  I would have never done it because I would have felt guilty spending all that money on myself and not going with the relatives.  I watch you and wish I was the woman you are.

And like your daughter, I love you.

Bnana

csandhollow said...

I read the letter from your daughter and it broght tears to my eyes. I pray everyday that I do not kill any of Brook's dreams.
Celeste